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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

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The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

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Divorces are made in heaven.

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The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

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First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint a second time.

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Of children as of procreation - the pleasure momentary, the posture ridiculous, the expense damnable.

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For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal

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A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other.

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The major sin is the sin of being born.

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