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There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.

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We are here and it is now. Further than that all human knowledge is moonshine.

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There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the government.

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Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.

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There are more of them than us.

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Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint. However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack.

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I improve on misquotation.

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Partying is such sweet sorrow.

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Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

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I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it.

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