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I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

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The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.

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The average trade book has a shelf life of between milk and yogurt, except for books by any member of the Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives.

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Chastity: the most unnatural of the sexual perversions.

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A man must properly pay the fiddler. In my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra had to be subsidized.

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Democracy: The substitution of election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

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New York: where everyone mutinies but no one deserts.

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England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.

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My heart is pure as the driven slush.

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If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

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