Today jokes
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What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells? A dead centipede.
What is the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes and the other decomposes.
What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and flies? A dead cat.
What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years? Pete.
What's a zombie's favorite pop song? Dead sails in the sunset.
What do you find in a zombie's veins? Dead blood corpuscles.
Where do ghosts go for their holidays? The Dead Sea.
First ghoul: You don't look too well today. Second ghoul: No, I'm dead on my feet.
Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary? It was a dead end job.
Did you hear about the two men who were cremated at the same time? It was a dead heat.