Today jokes
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NEWS ITEM. Kidnappers grabbed a little boy and two days later sent him home with a ransom note. His parents immediately sent the kid back with the money.
Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father, "Pop, what's a millennium?" "Well," he muttered, "I think it's something like a centennial, only it has more legs!"
Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away, you'd know where to find them.
"Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse?" asked Rupert. "Okay," replied his father, "but don't stand too close."
Father: Don't you think our son gets his brains from me? Mother: Probably, dear. I still have all of mine.
Young Bobby was being fitted for glasses, and his father, standing beside him, said, "Now, remember, son. Don't wear them when you're not looking at anything."
"Papa, who was Hamlet?" "You birdbrain! Bring me the Bible and I'll show you who he was."
"Dad, do you believe in Buddha?" "Why, of course, but I think margarine is just as good."
"Dad, why do you write so slow?" asked Dennis. "I have to," replied his father. "I'm a slow reader."
Son: What is an autobiography? Father: Er, the story of an automobile.