Today jokes
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What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road? He was stopped for speeding, fined $50 and dismantled for six months.
What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver? Daddy.
What happened to Frankenstein's stupid son? He had so much wax in his ears that he became a permanent contributor to Madame Tussaud's.
Dr Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It's a new pill consisting of 50 per cent glue and 50 per cent aspirin. Igor: But what's it for? Dr Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Igor: Only this morning Dr Frankenstein completed another amazing operation. He crossed an ostrich with a centipede. Dracula: And what did he get? Igor: We don't know - we haven't managed to catch it yet.
What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium? He got atomic ache.
Monster: Someone told me Dr Frankenstein invented the safety match. Igor: Yes, that was one of his most striking achievements.
What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster? Sir.
Why did the monster stop playing with his brother? He got tired of kicking him around.
What do you call a monster with a wooden head? Edward.