Today jokes
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Who makes a million dollars a day? Someone who works in a mint.
Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting? Because he gave out bad scents (cents).
If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
What dog has money? A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a whole (hole), and you could lose your money.
What is the quickest way to double your money ? Fold it in half !
How do thunderstorms invest their money? -In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets
What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it? Money's tight these days!
A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. "Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "What's the problem?" "When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."