Today jokes
-
Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a barrel of potatos. - In this day and age, the army should have a machine to peel potatos, complains Ivanov. - Absolutely, answered the sergeant. And you are its latest model.
Sargeant Williams was the newest drill instructor at AOCS, Aviation Officer Candidate School and as such was always trying to impress his company commander and the other officers in the Command. Daily he was seen jumping all over his officer candidates and yelling at them as he supposedly developed them into future Naval Officers. We were lined up behind his company awaiting our turn to go into the mess hall for lunch. We all listened as Sargeant Williams yelled at his company, " you will eat in a military fashion, enjoy this delicious meal and fall by in formation at 1215, do you worms understand me?" "Yes drill sargeant." "There are only three rules in this galley, shut up, eat up and get up, do you pukes understand me?" "Yes drill sargeant." "Then proceed. Company forward march." When they got inside, they were surprised to see several Miss Florida contestants getting a tour of the mess hall. Not one to let an opportunity slip by the drill sargeant yelled at the top of his lungs, " bravo company what is the first rule of the mess hall?" To his chagrin, his company all yelled out in unison, "shut up drill sargeant!"
Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a National Guard base after a heavey snow strom. Well after a 5 hour delay waiting for the snow to be plowed of, they were able to take-off. The planes taxied off and stoped a hundred yards to the flight line. The civilians had forgot to finish the rest of the taxi way.
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet.
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ? A: Turkey.
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !
Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador
Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?" A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off.
Q: What is Iraq's national bird ? A: Duck