Today jokes
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Jane's father decided to take all the family out to a restaurant for a meal. As he'd spent quite a lot of money for the meal he said to the waiter, "Could I have a bag to take the leftovers home for the dog?" "Gosh!" exclaimed Jane, "Are we getting a dog?"
Customer to friend: This is a wonderful restaurant. I ordered salad and I got the freshest salad in the world, I ordered coffee, and I got the freshest coffee in the world. Friend: I know - I ordered a small steak and got a calf.
At our local restaurant you can eat dirt cheap - but who wants to eat dirt?
"Can I have some two-handed cheese, please?" a man in a restaurant asked the waiter. "What do you mean, 'two-handed cheese'?' asked the waiter. "You know, the kind you eat with one hand and hold your nose with the other."
Patron 1: I eat at a different restaurant every day. Patron 2: I don't tip, either.
Eulus stood in front of the take-out window of a Rawl-ins fast food restaurant. "I want two hamburgers," he said. "One with onions, and one without." The counter man: "Okay. Which one's without the onions?"
I went to a restaurant that serves -breakfast at any time.- So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Have you ever seen a man-eating tiger ? No, but in the restaurant next door I once saw a man eating chicken !
Girl: How much is a soft drink ? Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill ? Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then, I'll have a refill.
What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter? Coloured eggrolls!