Today jokes
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"Did you hear? Lament's gettin' a Ph.D." "What does Ph.D. stand for?" "in his case, Pin-headed Dope."
Did you hear about the UCLA track star who won a gold medal? He was so proud of it that he had it bronzed.
How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But he gets three hours credit.
Jeb and Eudell, University of Michigan athletes, were driving from Ann Arbor to Cleveland. Just outside the city limits they saw a sign: "CLEAN REST ROOMS." By the time they got to Cleveland, they'd cleaned 147 Johns.
Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus. "Do you consider a 1441.Q. high?" "Yes!" "For the whole basketball team?"
How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan? Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer.
What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands? A dope ring.
How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning? By opening the car door.
Did you hear about the University of Miami fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?
There was the Florida State defensive tackle who thought Hertz Van Rentals was a famous Dutch painter.