Today jokes
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Why is the old, decrepit horse named Flattery? Because it gets you nowhere!
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air ? A seahorse !
What is the slowest racehorse in the world ? A clotheshorse !
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.
A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says," Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, "WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING. The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park. Judge: What were you doing? 1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond. Judge: And what were you doing? 2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too." Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well? 3rd man: No, sir. I AM Peanuts!