Today jokes
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A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she's too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that she's to skinny. After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman." sure son" the father replied, drooling. "We'll take her home and eat you mother!"
Q. What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner? A. The cold shoulder.
First cannibal: We had burglars last night. Second cannibal: Did they taste good?
First cannibal: I don't know what to make of my husband these days. Second cannibal: How about a curry?
The cannibal king was having dinner when a servant came running in. "Your Majesty," he said, "the slaves are revolting!" "You don't have to tell me," said the king. "I'm trying to eat them. "Where did we get these slaves anyway?" "From the country next door," replied the servant. "We must get a new butcher," said the king. "Bring me Delia Smith." "We can't, Your Majesty, she's still cooking for you." "Well, bring her to me once she's crispy enough," said the king.
What does a cannibal call a skateboarder? Meals on wheels.
What is the cannibals' favorite game? Swallow my Leader.
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride.
Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian? He couldn't stop eating swedes.
Cannibal Boy: I've brought a friend home for dinner. Cannibal Mom: Put him in the fridge and we'll have him tomorrow.