Today jokes
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Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor's son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It's very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed. To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?" "Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."
How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is.
How many architects does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he has to coordinate ten other professionals who are doing this quiet complicated task.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb? Third as many as for a regular bulb.
How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb? "Are you kidding? They won't even change a five dollar bill."
How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb? Twelve. One to change the bulb, and eleven to do the paperwork.
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!