Today jokes
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Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter? It sure gave them something to chew over.
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl, that was my supper.
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force? He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"