Today jokes
-
Customer: Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials? Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.
Customer: Why doesn't your menu list prices? Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.
Customer: Why don't you eat here, waiter? Waiter: Serving it is bad enough, I don't want to compound the felony.
Customer: Why don't you have doggie bags? Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals.
Customer: Why is this sandwich half eaten? Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it.
Diner: Could I have a glass of water? Waiter: To drink? Diner: No, I want to rinse out a few things.
Diner: May I please have a glass of water? Waiter: Why, are you thirsty? Diner: No, I want to see if my neck leaks.
Diner: Waiter, please close the window. Waiter: Why, is there a draft? Diner: Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.
Diner: Waitress, the portions are getting smaller. Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the restaurant has been enlarged.
Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.