Today jokes
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A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Keep it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Force of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Couldn't be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread.
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup! I know, but unfortunately we are out of turtle.