Today jokes
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There are three ways a man wears his hair - parted- unparted or departed
Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving? They wanted another excuse to watch football.
What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans ? Speaking Latin !
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ? He wanted Mark Antony !
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ? On their feet !
Why does history keep repeating itself ? Because we weren't listening the first time !
Who succeeded the first President of the USA ? The second one !
If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas ? His wife !
When did Caesar reign ? I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him ?
Why did the Romans build straight roads ? So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !