Today jokes
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What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies!
What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I'll get you next slime!
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
How do snails get their shells all shiny? They use snail polish.
What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma'am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
How does a group of dolphin's make a decision? Flipper coin!
Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs!
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise!