Today jokes
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What sort of an act do you do? I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth. Anything else? Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.
"Your teeth are like the stars," he said, As he pressed her hand, so white. He spoke the truth, for, like the stars, Her teeth came out at night!
Why did the termite eat a sofa and two chairs? It had a suite tooth.
What comes out at night and goes Munch, munch, ouch! A vampire with a rotten tooth.
What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.
What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe? A long necked toothbrush.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese.
What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said, "Darling, you've got lovely teeth."
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair - try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair. Try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly."With that he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker."
Why is 4,840 square yards like a bad tooth ? Because it is an acre.