Today jokes
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Where do football directors go when they are fed up ? The bored room !
Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet ? Player: I finished it in three days !
Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom ? Captain: Well, it could have been worse. Manager: How ? Captain: There could have been more teams in the league !
Why are football grounds odd ? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits !
Why did the goal post get angry ? Because the bar was rattled !
What is the bank manager's favourite type of football ? Fiver side !
What part of a football ground is never the same ? The changing rooms !
What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded ? Bring on their subs !
Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding ? They got jellygated !
Ref:I'm sending you off Player: What for ? Ref: The rest of the match !