Today jokes
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Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium!
When fish play football, who is the captain? The team's kipper!
Ref: I'm sending you off Player: What for? Ref: The rest of the match!
Why is it that birds are quickly sold when they come up on the transfer market? They tend to go cheep!
What is a goal keepers favourite snack? Beans on post!
How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden? Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!
What's tennis players favourite city? Volley wood!
How does a physicist exercise? By pumping ion!
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!
What is a runner's favourite subject in school? Jog-raphy!