Today jokes
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Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time!
Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom? Captain: Well, it could have been worse. Manager: How? Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!
What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? Sorry, it was a freak hic!
Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!
What do you get if you drop a piano on a team's defence? A flat back four!
Why did the goal post get angry? Because the bar was rattled!
What is the bank manager's favourite type of football? Fiver side!
What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms!
What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded? Bring on their subs!
Our team is doing so badly that "Manager of the Month" isn't an award. It's an appointment!