Today jokes
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Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET !
Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space? Because they've just had a big launch.
Teacher: What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm? Girl: Apollo neck jumpers ?
Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good.
Where do astronauts leave their spaceships? At parking meteors.
Why didn't the astronauts stay on the moon? Because it was a full moon and there was no room.
Why don't astronauts keep their jobs very long? Because as soon as they start they get fired.
Two astronauts were in a space ship circling high above the earth. One had to go on a space walk while the other stayed inside. When the space walker tried to get back inside the space ship, he discovered that the cabin door was locked, so he knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again, louder this time. There was still no answer. Finally he hammered at the door as hard as he could and heard a voice from inside the space ship saying, 'Who's there?'
Two aliens landed in the remote countryside and went walking from the flying saucer along a narrow lane. The first thing they saw was a red pillar box. `Take us to your leader,' said the first alien. `Don't waste time talking to him. Can't you see he's only a child?' said the second alien.
Where do Martians drink beer ? At a mars bar !