Today jokes
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What do you have to know to be a real estate salesman? Lots.
What salesman has the slickest line? A hair grease salesman.
A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat."
"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isn't where I live.
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see!
Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!
Teacher: How much is half of 8? Pupil: Up and down or across? Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!
Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine. So what's so great about that? It's snowing outside!
Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had