Today jokes
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Q: You know what the problem with political jokes is, don't you? A: They get elected.
Q: If Rodham gets health care, Bentsen gets treasury, and Aspin gets defense, what does Gore get? A: Coffee.
Q: What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life? A: Grade six.
Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents? A: He's the stiff one.
Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called? A: The whine cellar.
Q: How does Al Gore spell potato? A: T-A-T-E-R.
Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead? A: His heart stops bleeding.
Q: What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee--If No Recovery!
Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours? A: Put Janet Reno in charge.
Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, "My dad's way faster than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph fast ball from the pitcher's mound and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!" One of the other boys said, "Oh yeah? Well, my dad can shoot an arrow from his bow and run to the target and hold it up to make sure the arrow hits the bulls eye!" The last boy said, "Your dads don't even come close to being faster than mine. My dad works for the government, and even though he works every day until 4:00 he gets home at 3:30!"