Today jokes
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Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors? Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box.
Why was the big, hairy, two-headed monster top of the class at school? Because two heads are better than one.
What can a monster do that you can't do? Count up to 25 on his fingers.
What aftershave do monsters wear? Brute.
How did the world's tallest monster become short overnight? Someone stole all his money.
What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume? He was convicted of fragrancy.
Did you hear about the monster who sent his picture to a lonely hearts club? They sent it back saying they weren't that lonely!
Did you hear about the monster who had an extra pair of hands? Where did he keep them? In a handbag.mons
A monster walked into the council rent office with a $5 note stuck in one ear and a $10 note in the other. You see, he was $15 in arrears.
Did you hear about the monster with one eye at the back of his head, and one at the front? He was terribly moody because he couldn't see eye to eye with himself.