Today jokes
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Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small bucket. You do look a little pail.
Doctor, doctor, I've only got 59 seconds to live. Wait a minute please.
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bridge. What's come over you? Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb will change itself when it's ready.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "How long have you been having this phantasy?"
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"