Today jokes
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1) Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator? Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.
How can you tell who is the head nurse of a facility? She's the one with dirty knees.
How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None - They just have a nursing assistant do it.
Fireman rescued a man who was badly injured in a car accident. The entire left half of his body was torn off. He was taken to the hospital and examined. The doctors said he was all right. The nurses said there wasn't much left.
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When did this start ? Well first I created the sun, then the earth
Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well. That's quite enough out of you !
Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking ? Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor !
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots ? I never make rash promises !
Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take one of these every 4 laps !
Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar ! Have you taken anything for it ?