Today jokes
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Why did the boxer date the pretty girl? Because she was a knockout!
What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool? Show me your mussels.
Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation? To Palm Beach.
Q: Why don't you wear snow boots? A: Because they'll melt.
Q: Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom? A: To wrap itself in toilet paper!
Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A. He didn't have the guts too
Which painter always had a very bad cold? Vincent Van Cough
Mad men are given a test to prove they are getting normal their teacher draws a door on the wall and orders them to go out. They tart fighting but one remains sitting and the teacher goes to him and asks why he didn't join others and he says "let them fight they forgot I have the keys"
Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT" so they went home.
Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. "Where's George?" one of the men asked, noticing that Sam had returned alone. "He's about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left him there 'cause I figured ain't nobody 'bout to steal him."