Today jokes
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If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the north, in which direction is the smoke blowing? There is no smoke from an electric train!
What driver doesn't have a license? A screw driver.
What kind of ears do trains have? Engineers (engine ears).
Who drives away all of his customers? A taxicab driver.
What kind of car drives over water? Any kind of car, if it goes over a bridge.
Where do cars get the most flat tires? Where there is a fork in the road.
What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher? One minds the train, the other trains the mind.
What happens if an axe falls on your car? You have an ax-i-dent (accident).
What would you have if your car's motor was in flames? A fire engine.
What did the big carburettor say to the little carburettor? "Don't inhale so fast or you'll choke."