New jokes
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What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he'd beat her with a shovel!
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
Why don't lobsters share? They're shellfish.
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating -- I call it 'goofing off'."