New jokes
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What's the chilliest ground in the premiership? Cold Trafford!
How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!
Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!
What did they call Dracula when he won the league? The champire!
Which England player keeps up the fuel supply? Paul gas coin!
Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time!
Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom? Captain: Well, it could have been worse. Manager: How? Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!
What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? Sorry, it was a freak hic!
Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!
What do you get if you drop a piano on a team's defence? A flat back four!