New jokes
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Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane ? A dandy lion !
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station ? Because it's a 'mane-lion' station !
What do you call a show full of lions ? The mane event !
How does a leopard change its spots ? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another !
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat ? He had to get a new goat !
Why was the lion-tamer fined ? He parked on a yellow lion !
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ? A tiger has the mane part missing !
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ? After a week he was spotless !
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep ? A stripey sweater !