New jokes
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What did the alien say to the gas pump ? Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you !
How did the aliens hurt the farmer? They trod on his corn.
What did the metric alien say ? Take me to your litre !
What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer.
What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t.
Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET !
Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space? Because they've just had a big launch.
Teacher: What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm? Girl: Apollo neck jumpers ?
Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good.
Where do astronauts leave their spaceships? At parking meteors.