New jokes
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Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Father: I hear you skipped school to play football Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!
A history joke Teacher: When was Rome built? Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that? Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!
Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were. Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day? Pupil: The school bus!
Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth! Pupil: What?, and get bitten!
Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you? Pupil: Not very much!
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine
An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.