New jokes
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Why don't ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks.
What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius.
Which day of the week do ghosts like best? Moandays.
Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread-ged the lake.
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks "yeah, what do you want?". The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice "I've lost my tail...... and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back-on". At this request the barman stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog..... "Sorry, but we don't re-tail spirits at this time of night".
Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane.
Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."
What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off ? Ban-she, ban-she !
This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't think what possessed her.