New jokes
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The teacher asked a Louisiana teenager to count to five. The youngster proceeded to count to five on his fingers. Then the teacher asked, "Can you count any higher?" The boy raised his hands over his head and counted to five again.
Kowalski and Janzek left Hamtramack and went out in the woods looking for Christmas trees. They looked all day without any luck. Near nightfall Kowalski finally said, "Janzek, I'm takin' the next tree we come to, whether it has lights on it or not!"
Did you hear about the hillbilly who asked his friends to give him their burnt-out light bulbs. He wanted to start a dark room.
Four Independence boys, Pugh, Sumter, Kilby and Grayson, were walking down a Clay County road when they came to a high, solid brick wall. Wondering what was behind it, Pugh, Sumter and Kilby boosted Grayson so he could take a look. "Looks like one of them nudist camps," reported Grayson. "Men or women?" asked Pugh. "Can't tell," said Grayson. "They don't have no clothes on."
Titus was on a Knoxville elevator with several other people. As the elevator moved up, he stared at the small fan revolving slowly in the elevator ceiling. "It's amazing," he said to the other people, "that such a small fan could lift all these people!"
Did you hear about the idiot who planted Cheerios in his backyard? He thought they were donut seeds.
Did you hear about the Oklahoma idiot who married an American Indian? They had a baby and wanted to name it to reflect both races. So they called it Running Dummy.
Slim walked into his local post office and noticed a new sign on the wall: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY IN MONTANA "Gosh!" he said, "If n only that job was in Texas, Ah'd take it!"
Did you hear about the idiot who filled out an employment application? In the blank labeled "Church Preference" he filled in: Red brick.
Why did the idiot drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff? He wanted to try out his new air brakes.