New jokes
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Do you know the 20th President of the United States ? No, we were never introduced !
Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !
When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ? He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ? I don't know, I wasn't invited !
What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate ? The registration of the car that ran him over !
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ? They both have 'the' as their middle names !
What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies.
Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!
What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark? A knight light
Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren't ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be." "Great!" said the first guy, "I want to be an eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!" "No problem," replied St. Peter, and POOF! The guy was gone. "And what do you want to be," St. Peter asked the other guy. "I'd like to be one cool stud!" was the reply. "Easy," replied St. Peter, and the other guy was gone. After a few months, their mansions were finished, and St. Peter sent an angel to fetch them back. "You'll find them easily," he says, "One of them is soaring above the Grand Canyon, and the other one is on a snow tire somewhere in Detroit!"