New jokes
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Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home. Ghost: Why don't you take a train. Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
What do you call a witch who drives really badly? A road hag.
Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix? He was asking for directions.
What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire? A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.
Auntie Maud bought herself a new rear-engine European car. She took an old friend for a drive, but after only half a mile the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. "Oh. Maud," said her friend, "you've lost your engine!" "Never mind, dear," said auntie. "I've got a spare one in the trunk."
How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car? Put him in the front.
What car do insects drive? A Volkswagen automobile.
My dad is stupid. He thinks a fjord is a Norwegian motor car.