New jokes
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Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years? It was stuffed.
Teacher: What's a robin? Fred: A bird that steals, ma'am.
What do you call a vulture with no beak? A head banger.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls (bagels, get it?).
Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons? "He wanted to be a hentertainer."
What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A Ducktor.
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas??? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri? To show the opossum it could be done.
How many ducks would there be, if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks, two ducks between two ducks, and two ducks behind two ducks? Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a row.
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge outside the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."