All jokes
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Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better? No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
Why did the vampire go to hospital? He wanted his ghoulstones removed.
What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight? Necking.
Where is Dracula's American office? The Vampire State Building.
Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning.
Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin? It wanted to play squash.
What's pink, lives in a sty and drinks blood? A hampire.
What type of people do vampires like? Type O positive people.
What kind of typewriters do vampires like? Blood type-writers.
What does Dracula say to his victims? It's been nice gnawing you.