All jokes
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"I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead." "That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!"
"I caught a twenty pound salmon last week." "Were there any witnesses?" "There sure were. If there hadn't been, it would have been forty pounds."
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you. Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano? A. You can't tuna fish.
How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out? I don't know the answer but I think I'm nearly there.
Q. Where do fish sleep? A. In a river bed
What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain? Anything you like, he can't hear you.
I was glad when one fish got away. There just wasn't room in the boat for both of us!
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
Q: What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything. A: Three Men And A Baby